We worry easily when we don't know what's going on, which is why communication, especially when there's conflict, is really critical. I always reduce my negotiations course to, “You get what you want by helping others get what they want,” which is an old Zig Ziglar tagline. But it's a really good one, because it means you have to understand what they want. And most people don't try to understand what the other side wants. They're telling you why you should understand what they want. And, when we do that, when you really tell me, “Hey, listen, this is what I need to know”, and, “This is what I'm struggling with,” and, “This is what I'm trying to get at,” then I can think, “Well, I'm going to try and help you do that. Can you help me?” And then, if you help me, then that's what gets the cycle of reciprocity going. The challenge is that somebody has to take the first step. Stay curious. Try to understand, ask questions, seek first to understand then to be understood.
Read More